It's my Birthday!

I am so blessed this day! The love of family and friends have been so full that it's almosst overwhelming...which is a beautiful thing!

It's my "Dirty 30" and I'm loving every second of it.

I must confess...I made up a reason to go to Walmart so that I could cry my EYES out! This also marks the 9th anniversary of my best friend and cousin Delia "Nina"Thomas being murdered at the age of 22 by her husband. 9 years ago today, we were so giddy about me turning 21. We were going out to" party like tomorrow wasn't coming" was my cousins exact words to me at around 8:00 am on March 29,2000. I had NO idea that her tomorrow WOULD never come. I remember going shopping for my outfit. Going to get my hair fixed, a mani and a pedi. I went downtown to Macy's to let them do my make up....I was going to do it BIG that day. I called Nina at around 2pm to check her progress...no answer. Not unusual....she had a 3 yr old and a 3 month old....prolly either busy with the babies, or trying to find a babysitter. She'll call back. So I go home, get dressed, looking GOOD may I add ;) and call all of my friends to tell them what time to meet me at the club. See, we were going to Dave and busters, but AFTER we went to shake our groove things at the club! LOL So I look up, it's 8pm, no Nina yet. Now I knew that was not like her. We grew up like sisters and we talked at LEASt 4 times a day. I call my aunt, Nina's mom. "Nina There?" My aunt replies "No, baby, Nina aint here...I have to go" I call her house again....no answer. So I KNOW that Nina knows where we are going, so I figure, eh, she'll show up. Maybe Jermaine (her husband) is tripping again and they may be into it again. So if she can't make it or if she shows late....no biggie. My friends pick me up....we are on our way! We are JAMMING to the music in the car. Then. I . GET.A. CALL. FROM. MOM. "Tosha, hey , what are you doing?" I say" On our way to the club then to dave and busters" mom says "Are you driving" I say yeah she says "wherever you are, pull over. Let me speak to Tanika ( my friend)" I later found out that she BEGGED Tanika to not leave me that night. To bring me to where everyone was. So when Tanika, visually disturbed gave me the phone back I hear "I don't know how to tell you this but to give it to you just how it happened. Today we lost Nina. Jermaine kiled her" MAN my world fell apart. I still to this day dont know what happened besides the fact that I screamed so hard that My voice was gone for 2 weeks. Literally..GONE! We headed over to the familys house, where i learned my sweet cousin had been pronounced dead at 10:45 that morning. After I talked to her at 8am, her and her husband bickered, and he shot my cousin 14 times...reloading twice. Thankfully the second shot is the one that killed her...she didn't have to feel 12 more bullets pumped into her body. Unfortunately, both of their children were home, and her 3 year olds bloody footprints were everywhere. What a HORRIBLE thing happened to us 9 years ago today. It's the WAY she died that hurts so bad. She didn't deserve that...not even an animal deserves a over killof a death like that.


I cried today, not only because I miss her so, but this is such a milestone that she will never get to share with me....ANOTHER milestone that my cousin will not be here with me to celebrate. I went to mourn. I miss her. I bought her a pretty flower thingy for her grave, took it out there and came back home :) I actually told the family that I went for earrings, and I did get those. Nobody but you all knows about my pit stop....they would worry. I don't want them to worry about me, because it's not just THIS day that I have breakdowns. It's almost everyday for the past 9 years. Her mom recently passed away and her mom and I were her best friends, so I felt fine knowing she has one of her best friends in Heaven with her now!

Nina, I miss you more than you will EVER know.There will never be another you. I no longer have anyone to tell EVERY little detail of life to, but God needed you there more than I need you here, so I just ask while you are up there, to please pray for all of us today. Its hard. Even in light of everyone coming over to give me birthday wishes and all, none of us will ever forget what a heinous day this is in our family either.Rest in perfect peace "Chocolate Star" I will mourn you until the day I join you!

My family always called us "Chocolate Star" and "Caramel Sparkle" And if I have twin girls through this Journey, their names will be Sparkle and Starr :)