Today's appointment!

Today, I went in to follow up on the fibroid. I just submitted it all in The Lords hands.

I went in and at first they gave me a regular U/S where they saw nothing. The U/S lady said they wouldn't get a clear view of inside the uterus until the doc injected the saline in there. So I sat aptiently waiting for the doc to come in ( 30 minutes at least)

When she came in, I did let her know that if surgery was my only option, that I wasn't taking that option as i just had uterine surgery in January and I was just unwilling to do it. I told her that it's been nice working with her, but uh-uh, I won't be doing another surgery. She said ok. So onto the U/S we go....

At first they saw nothing, and then they saw something :( I was SO sad at first because I knew this would be it if so. Then she said " Oh look, it's not glowing so it's DEFINATELY not a fibroid, but WHAT is that?" so her and the U/S tech painfully twirl the wand and all that jazz looking. My doctor decided she wanted to investigate, so she pokes at the "finding" with the catheter and it moves around. She says" Oh, this is JUST tissue" She then proceeds to use the catheter to break up the tissue ( MAJOR ouchie :( ) and then said it was all done! I am good to go....no surgery required!

I am tentatively scheduled for egg retrieval May 4th or 5th. Egg transfer will be May 9th or 10th.

The were over the moon impressed with my eggs...saying I have alot of eggs already! My left ovary held 5 follicles and my right held 6 (or vice verse) and they were saying how good that was. Well, since i know nothing about what would normally be there, i trust them! LOL

So for now, BCP. I start Lupron on April 14th :D

It's my Birthday!

I am so blessed this day! The love of family and friends have been so full that it's almosst overwhelming...which is a beautiful thing!

It's my "Dirty 30" and I'm loving every second of it.

I must confess...I made up a reason to go to Walmart so that I could cry my EYES out! This also marks the 9th anniversary of my best friend and cousin Delia "Nina"Thomas being murdered at the age of 22 by her husband. 9 years ago today, we were so giddy about me turning 21. We were going out to" party like tomorrow wasn't coming" was my cousins exact words to me at around 8:00 am on March 29,2000. I had NO idea that her tomorrow WOULD never come. I remember going shopping for my outfit. Going to get my hair fixed, a mani and a pedi. I went downtown to Macy's to let them do my make up....I was going to do it BIG that day. I called Nina at around 2pm to check her progress...no answer. Not unusual....she had a 3 yr old and a 3 month old....prolly either busy with the babies, or trying to find a babysitter. She'll call back. So I go home, get dressed, looking GOOD may I add ;) and call all of my friends to tell them what time to meet me at the club. See, we were going to Dave and busters, but AFTER we went to shake our groove things at the club! LOL So I look up, it's 8pm, no Nina yet. Now I knew that was not like her. We grew up like sisters and we talked at LEASt 4 times a day. I call my aunt, Nina's mom. "Nina There?" My aunt replies "No, baby, Nina aint here...I have to go" I call her house again....no answer. So I KNOW that Nina knows where we are going, so I figure, eh, she'll show up. Maybe Jermaine (her husband) is tripping again and they may be into it again. So if she can't make it or if she shows late....no biggie. My friends pick me up....we are on our way! We are JAMMING to the music in the car. Then. I . GET.A. CALL. FROM. MOM. "Tosha, hey , what are you doing?" I say" On our way to the club then to dave and busters" mom says "Are you driving" I say yeah she says "wherever you are, pull over. Let me speak to Tanika ( my friend)" I later found out that she BEGGED Tanika to not leave me that night. To bring me to where everyone was. So when Tanika, visually disturbed gave me the phone back I hear "I don't know how to tell you this but to give it to you just how it happened. Today we lost Nina. Jermaine kiled her" MAN my world fell apart. I still to this day dont know what happened besides the fact that I screamed so hard that My voice was gone for 2 weeks. Literally..GONE! We headed over to the familys house, where i learned my sweet cousin had been pronounced dead at 10:45 that morning. After I talked to her at 8am, her and her husband bickered, and he shot my cousin 14 times...reloading twice. Thankfully the second shot is the one that killed her...she didn't have to feel 12 more bullets pumped into her body. Unfortunately, both of their children were home, and her 3 year olds bloody footprints were everywhere. What a HORRIBLE thing happened to us 9 years ago today. It's the WAY she died that hurts so bad. She didn't deserve that...not even an animal deserves a over killof a death like that.


I cried today, not only because I miss her so, but this is such a milestone that she will never get to share with me....ANOTHER milestone that my cousin will not be here with me to celebrate. I went to mourn. I miss her. I bought her a pretty flower thingy for her grave, took it out there and came back home :) I actually told the family that I went for earrings, and I did get those. Nobody but you all knows about my pit stop....they would worry. I don't want them to worry about me, because it's not just THIS day that I have breakdowns. It's almost everyday for the past 9 years. Her mom recently passed away and her mom and I were her best friends, so I felt fine knowing she has one of her best friends in Heaven with her now!

Nina, I miss you more than you will EVER know.There will never be another you. I no longer have anyone to tell EVERY little detail of life to, but God needed you there more than I need you here, so I just ask while you are up there, to please pray for all of us today. Its hard. Even in light of everyone coming over to give me birthday wishes and all, none of us will ever forget what a heinous day this is in our family either.Rest in perfect peace "Chocolate Star" I will mourn you until the day I join you!

My family always called us "Chocolate Star" and "Caramel Sparkle" And if I have twin girls through this Journey, their names will be Sparkle and Starr :)

So far, so good

I have been on my BCP for 6 days now. No ill effects..thank God!

Back in my younger days when I was on BCP, I had issues with them, so all is well now!

I have my appointment Monday...will updae on how it goes!

Really rough day at work...and confessed my journey!

I had a really rough day at work today. My supervisor is just never satisfied with anything anyone does around there, and she pulled me in the office for some petty, simple stuff that would have gone unnoticed if she wasn't looking for something.

Well after I boo hooed away ( I wish I hadn't done that though...I don't want her thinking Im weak) I told her I don't need her stressing me out as I am on the road to having another baby and before I let her stress me that bad, I will go back to being a stay at home mom.

She then wants to know all about how we're doing it. I told her that's personal and only the people who really cares about me deserve to know. My one coworker was so proud of me for saying that. She said it was a nice way to tell her " none of your business" And this coworker knows btw

So anywho I was greeted at home by my sweet husband....who met me at the door with a huge hug and kiss. It was just what I needed to end my dreaded day. I love him so much. He knew I had a bad day and asked me had he brightened it a little ( I guess by greeting me) and I told him nothing else mattered at that point...and it didn't. I love him!

Maybe not over!

I called the Nurse yesterday to ask a few questions that I had lingering on.

I asked her if it turned out to be a fibroid, then will this cancel my cycle. She said no way....it will just push back the IVF for two weeks. So maybe I will reconsider having a procedure if one is needed. I was set on not following through if I needed one. The last clini I went to said after they did procedures they made patients wait 8 weeks.

I have been praying that it's not a fibroid at all!

Day 2 labs and bloodwork

On Tuesday March 23,2009 I went in for my Day 2 labs and ultrasound. I went in and did that and was told to wait for the nurse to call with instructions and results.



The Nurse called and told me that all of my labs were good, and to start birth control pills! I was so excited....until I heard that "BUT"...



BUT we noticed a small Fibroid on the ultrasound. It may be the lingering effect of the polyp that I had removed, and they won't know for sure until I have another ultrasound, so I have that scheduled for next Monday. If it's lingering from the polyp....I'm good. If it's a new fibroid, removal is needed.

Well that's just the thing...If in fact I need to have it removed, I'm just calling it quits. I have been through my share with this and getting pregnant is something I did perfectly fine 5 times, so to continue to be poked and prodded...I don't have the energy! So I am praying that this is not a fibroid so that I may continue without incident. If it is a fibroid...my journey is probably over.

CD1

Today is CD1 for me! HOORAY!!!!

That means it's day 1 of my cycle (CD1=cycle day 1) I was originally scheduled for tomorrow fpr cd3 labs and ultrasound, but that has to change to Tuesday, which is fine. I was off tomorrow so that would have been perfect, but Tuesday is good too. My future baby is worth it :)

Our Appointment Wednesday 3/18/09

We went in and met with our IVF coordinator. She was really nice, but with a strong accent, so it took lots of concentration to "get" her.

She showed Joseph how to give me the shots that he needs to give me, and boy am I nervous, LMBO! He seemed to happy to hurt me LOL Just kidding. My honey is so into this as much as me, and I just love him so much!

The coordinator discussed the possibility of twins with us. I already knew that but I wasn't too certain if had sank in for Joseph, but turns out he knew and is perfectly fine if that happens :)

So we made up my IVF calendar based on my cycle starting on day 28 like it has since I had a period at 12, and that date that it was to start was yesterday #/20/09. What do you know? She did not come! LOL So hopefully she starts today because then everything can still go according to the calendar. I have a feeling she will be here because I'm feeling quite crampy.

I have an appointment Monday for labs and ultrasound then We. ARE. OFF!!! This is all contingent on AF coming today at the latest, so come on why don't you!!

My beautiful babies

Ok I tried to post a pic of my babies, but it wouldn't show, so I will update when I ge home and can play with it more. Im at work right now :D

Meds are us!

We recieved our medications yesterday....everything except our PIO which will be in the week before our retrieval. I was so excited!

I was eager to get home from work because it was dh's first day back home in 2 weeks. He had to train for the job in Kansas and I missed him so very much. I have been nothing but smiles since he's been home!

Anywho, I am even excited to see my needles...which is something others have told me would frighten me. NOT I! I was excited to see them! To me, it means " THIS IS IT!!! We are really going to do this! We are really TTC our 6th, or 6th and 7th baby!"

Soooooo very exciting!

Meds are shipped!!!!

Today I got a call from the pharmacy! My medications are on their way and due to arrive Friday! YYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

I also got my prescriptioned filled for my birth control pills, so those are at home ready to go!

The only thing was the pharmacy didn't have the Novarel in stock, so they are forwarding that to Freedom Fertility Pharmacy so it can be filled there.

Call from the financial lady at the clinic......

And I'm excited about it too!!!

So today the financial counselor called to give me my total bill...$8,000! Which includes EVERYTHING....including freezing any remainders if we so choose.

We were about to pay more than that at the old clinic for JUST the Egg retrieval and Transfer alone! Total at the clinic we came from would have been upwards around $13,000 for all!

So next Wednesday when we go in, we pay that.

The switching of doctors and the new plan

So I switched doctors and did so today!

The old doctor......let's just talk about that! After going round and round in circles with her for everything, from the Leukemia scare to the "Oh THIS is the month you would start" and EVERY time hearing " Well next month" I decided to ask " Tell me what is REALLY going on?!?!?!" Well the answer I got was " Dr. ____" doesn't have Malpractice at the outside location ( that's the place that has to do the retreival/transfer) so we can't start until that happens" .......WELL WHY TAKE PATIENTS, BUILD UP HOPES, ONLY TO SAY RIGHT NOW YOU CANT?!?!

Oh I. WAS. LIVID!!!

So I knew I was on a quest for a new doc, but I felt a sway to go to the clinic I originally scheduled myself for. I called Friday and to my surprise there was an opening Monday the 9th! So I went today.....and it was fantastic. From the moment I walked in I felt "This is IT!" I took all of my results from the old doctor so no other testing is needed YAY! The other doctor even ordered my meds already. The only thing the new doc is doing different is putting me on birth control pills.

I have to call with CD1 of my menses. I then go in on day 3 to measure follicle size. BCPs start that day as well.

Tentative Egg retrieval is first week of May!!!!!!

Boy did I not know that when I named this blog "Our JOURNEY to a new addition" that the word Journey would be what we were up against, but I know it will be worth every minute of it!

Some dates are set!

So, March 5, 2009 is the day I go in for injection class! HOORAY!!!!!! On this day, I will get the day to come in for our mock transfer. I will be alone on this day, because my honey is out of town :( I miss him SO much, but it's for his job and I know he HAD to go. Please pray with me that the Lord covers my husband with his shield of protection until my baby is back safely in my arms!

Dh and I go in on March 19,2009 for orientation. On this day, we will sign all of our consent forms and things like that. WOOHOO!